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As an introduction to video class in college I enlisted the assistance of Vaughn Royko(Opens in new window) to slam dance with me and pretend to shoot toilets with a tripod. I have no idea why. The song is about Hub Muffins from the Medicine Hat College cafeteria and the ensuing irritable bowel syndrome that often accompanied eating them. In those times of need a toilet, or porcelain, is your best friend.

The project requirements included creating a song with random lyrics, both of which which were inspired by Linoleum by NOFX(Opens in new window) with some spiced up drums, the guitar solo from Modern Man by Bad Religion(Opens in new window), and a video about nothing in particular.

Going into space never made sense to me.
It makes your senses go hazy.
Well that’s not true for me I eat my fiber
and then I disregard concern.
That’s right, disregard concern.

I’ve got a stomach full of hubs in my head.
Eating them only brings me dread.
I.B.S. and apathy
terrorizing me like a banshee.

I’ve got a friend: Porcelain.

Porcelain supports me on its head.
Waits for me as if I were dead.
Flushing only brings me peace.
Then goes away like flying geese.

Porcelain. That’s right, you’re my friend.
My friend.